Feeling Fried? How to Overcome and Prevent Burnout
Have you ever reached a point of exhaustion where you were not only feeling tired but also irritable, apathetic and maybe even cynical?
If so, you may have been experiencing burnout, which tends to build and simmer in the background for weeks, months or even years until one day it hits hard.
At that point, we may not really understand what’s going on, or we can think that there’s something wrong with us or that we just need to “power through” to feel better.
Because burnout can be slow and gradual, and also somewhat sneaky, it can be helpful to take proactive steps to prevent it, especially if we’re under a lot of pressure or juggling a lot of responsibilities.
Daniela Wolfe, a licensed master social worker and burnout prevention specialist, is well-versed in helping clients become aware of not only the warning signs of burnout but also strategies that can help keep it in check.
Lessons in Burnout
Wolfe also has first-hand experience with burnout after navigating her way through it following a divorce and single motherhood.
“I wasn't great at asking for help,” Wolfe says. “I drove myself straight into my own burnout. I was irritable. I was snapping. I wasn't showing up as the woman and mom that I knew I could be and that I wanted [my kids] to remember growing up.”
In order to make a change, Wolfe started small with a daily gratitude practice and utilizing free resources like childcare at the grocery store and gym so that she could carve out time for herself as well as get necessary tasks done.
While it took some practice and work to build these new routines, Wolfe says that they became a bridge to a different way of life.
“It definitely took some work to get over feeling like I had to over explain where [the kids] were and why I was just shopping by myself,” she says. “But being able to take that time for myself, I found not only was I showing up better, but my kids were, too.”
Wolfe says that others began to notice and started following her example. “I realized that I think we're all looking for that validation and permission that it's OK to take time for ourselves.”
‘Exhausted to Empowered’
After noticing others following her lead, Wolfe began officially helping others as a burnout prevention coach and created her exhausted-to-empowered formula that includes three areas of focus: mindset, time management and self-care.
Wolfe helps clients reframe thought patterns and beliefs around their responsibilities as well as how to prioritize tasks and better structure their days. She also teaches an eight-pillar approach to self-care that includes:
how you eat,
how you sleep,
how you move,
how you dress,
how you decorate and organize your home,
how you think about money,
how you connect with others, as well as
traditional personal development strategies like mindfulness, meditation and journaling.
Taking those eight areas into consideration, Wolfe encourages clients to incorporate micro moments of self-care into their days. This can be as little as one minute a day, and it doesn’t always have to be the same thing. So one day could include a movement exercise, while another day might involve taking extra care in how you dress in order to feel more confident. The important thing is to make a daily commitment to self-care.
“It's the consistency that keeps those things happening,” Wolfe says. “These are definitely things that you need to be practicing in order to create new neural pathways in your brain to think differently.”
Like anything, though, practicing self-care every day–maybe for the first time– can come with setbacks, so Wolfe also encourages taking a self-compassionate approach, knowing that everyone’s going to miss a day or even fall out of the routine at some point. But you can always restart it.
An Unexpected Cause of Burnout
Not only does she teach strategies to manage burnout, but Wolfe also teaches and builds awareness around how it can start, including one very unexpected source—following your passions.
“A lot of people don't realize, but science has actually shown when you're following your passions, you're more prone for burnout than when you're doing something you don't like,” she says. “If you're at a job you don't like–five o'clock hits and you're like, ‘Bye, I'm outta here.’ But if it's something you love, you might stay longer.”
Same thing applies to being a parent, being in a relationship, running your own business, etc., she adds. “Those things that you go all in on is where you toss your boundaries out the window.”
Wolfe encourages clients to maintain an awareness of how much time and energy they are dedicating to their passions and interests and to try and balance that with the other areas of self-care to help create balance.
Find What Works for You
To help clear another misconception about self-care, Wolfe also emphasizes that it doesn’t have to take place in a quiet, zen place.
“Self-care can be loud,” she says. “It can be laughter. You think of those times maybe out with your girlfriends where you just laugh so hard, you're crying. That is a great form of self-care.”
Creating flexibility around how you practice self-care–whether it’s loud or quiet or a combo of the two–helps to make a self-care practice more enjoyable, which is going to make it more sustainable over time.
To hear more from Wolfe and her advice and strategies for managing and preventing burnout, check out the full podcast episode available below or via the links below.
To find out more about Daniela, check out her website, Instagram, podcast and Free Quiz.
*Disclaimer: The information contained in this podcast is for the sole purpose of being informative and is not considered complete.
